Soul Music

Until an unfortunate axe incident, Gloria had been captain of the school basketball team.

-- (Terry Pratchett, Soul Music)

The man gave a shrug which indicated that, although the world did indeed have many problems, this was one of them that was not his.

-- (Terry Pratchett, Soul Music)

"Scum," said Crash, his voice low with resigned menace, "you've bought a leopard, haven't you?"

-- (Terry Pratchett, Soul Music)

"Of course, just because we've heard a spine-chilling, blood-curdling scream of the sort to make your very marrow freeze in your bones doesn't automatically mean there's anything wrong."

-- (Terry Pratchett, Soul Music)

It is said that whosoever the gods wish to destroy, they first make mad. In fact, whosoever the gods wish to destroy, they first hand the equivalent of a stick with a fizzing fuse and Acme Dynamite Company written on the side. It's more interesting, and doesn't take so long.

-- (Terry Pratchett, Soul Music)

The question seldom addressed is where Medusa had snakes. Underarm hair is an even more embarassing problem when it keeps biting the top of the deodorant bottle.

-- (Terry Pratchett, Soul Music)

People came to Ankh-Morpork to seek their fortune. Unfortunately, other people sought it too.

-- (Terry Pratchett, Soul Music)

The class was learning about some revolt in which some peasants had wanted to stop being peasants and, since the nobles had won, had stopped being peasants really quickly.

-- (Terry Pratchett, Soul Music)

The hippo of recollection stirred in the muddy waters of the mind.

-- (Terry Pratchett, Soul Music)

SNH, SNH, SNH.

-- (Terry Pratchett, Soul Music)

Smoke was coming out of the stricken piano. The Librarian's hands were walking through the keys like Casanunda in a nunnery.

-- (Terry Pratchett, Soul Music)

They looked at one another in incomprehension, two minds driving opposite ways up a narrow street and waiting for the other man to reverse first.

-- (Terry Pratchett, Soul Music)

The students were staring at her in the manner of those who have heard of the species 'female' but have never expected to get this close to one.

-- (Terry Pratchett, Soul Music)

"I'm mean and turf and I'm mean and turf and I'm mean
and turf and I'm mean and turf,
And me an' my friends can walk towards you with our
hats on backwards in a menacing way,
Yo!"

-- (Terry Pratchett, Soul Music)

The Patrician was a pragmatist. He never tried to fix things that worked. Things that didn't work, however, got broken.

-- (Terry Pratchett, Soul Music)

"What duck?"

-- (Terry Pratchett, Soul Music)

There was a roar like the scream of a camel who has just seen two bricks.

-- (Terry Pratchett, Soul Music)

"Yes," said the skull. "Quit while you're a head, that's what I say."

-- (Terry Pratchett, Soul Music)