Thief of Time

"Do not act incautiously when confronting little bald wrinkly smiling men!"

-- Rule One (Terry Pratchett, Thief of Time)

"Sometimes I really think people ought to have to pass a proper exam before they're allowed to be parents. Not just the practical, I mean."

-- (Terry Pratchett, Thief of Time)

"No running with scythes!"

-- (Terry Pratchett, Thief of Time)

Look, that's why there's rules, understand? So that you think before you break 'em.

-- (Terry Pratchett, Thief of Time)

"Bikkit!"

-- (Terry Pratchett, Thief of Time)

Even with nougat you can have a perfect moment.

-- (Terry Pratchett, Thief of Time)

In the second scroll of Wen the Eternally Surprised a story is written concerning one day when the apprentice Clodpool, in a rebellious mood, approached Wen and spake thusly: "Master, what is the difference between a humanistic, monastic system of belief in which wisdom is sought by means of an apparently nonsensical system of questions and answers, and a lot of mystic gibberish made up on the spur of the moment?" Wen considered this for some time, and at last said: "A fish!" And Clodpool went away, satisfied.

-- (Terry Pratchett, Thief of Time)