Delft: Report

From: sierra@dataweb.nl (Kimberley Verburg)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.pratchett
Subject: [F] Delft 2.0 Meet Report
Date: Sun, 09 Aug 1998 23:29:15 GMT
Message-ID: <35d32cd0.21258398@news.lspace.org>

[cross-posted to alt.talk.mended-drum]

The attendees: Eelco, Gabe (the Surprise Guest), Jeremy, Jeroen B, 
Jeroen M (Labrat), Jos, Kimberley, Leo, Michel (Cybercat), Patrick and
Assorted Supersoakers.

I volunteered to write the meet report because the Roach was absent.
("It wasn't peer pressure, it was water pressure." - Gabe.) Extra
credits: Thanks to all those with the almost indecipherable handwriting.
Would the person who wrote *boulk* on my notes please step forward and
explain why?

Gabe, Jos and me were the first to arrive at Locus Publicus. Gabe
informed us that "locus" is a word for "toilet" in German. Jos and Gabe
entertained themselves and passersby by shooting fat pigeons with their
supersoakers. A grumpy waiter soon arrived to forbid them firing at
people (which they had actually been carefully avoiding.) The waiter was
promptly reclassified as a pigeon.

Enter the rest of the group in short order. The Backpack and his Eelco
arrived and failed to recognise Gabe. Eelco excused himself by saying
that Gabe didn't have his customary leather jacket nor hat on (it was
30C - forgive him) and his leather clad legs were tucked out of sight
under the table.

Jeremy's goodbye gift was presented; a toy bow and arrow. Targets were
chosen but no irritable waiters came out to wag their fingers this time.
It might have had something to do with the recent removal of Jeremy's
rollerblades. Jeremy also removed his shirt to a chorus of "aarghs"
after which ambulances were discussed. Correlation?

It was decided that there should be more sex in the meet reports to make
them more interesting. Therefore, the meets on the Other Side were
thoroughly discussed (picking one at random, say, Dublin 6.0.)

Conversations were born and mutated. Topics included: 'net access in the
mountains, oral sex on ITV (see, it's them again), and O'Reilly's as
replacement computers. Jeroen M's Brussels 2.0 photos were boggled at.

Almost everyone compared the size of their supersoaker with the others.
Gabe won with the gun he had bought that afternoon. It was love at first
sight. Leo memorably serenaded me with "Pigeon in White". Fortunately no
one shot me. A new verb meaning "to create confusion" was proposed. "I
got Leo'd." - Jos.

We ran out of pigeons and started to get hungry so we moved on to an
Italian restaurant. Once there, Eelco started to hover vulture-like over
my plate even though the food hadn't arrived. Practising, no doubt.
Michel, brave soul, was kind enough to swap places with me and I taunted
Eelco with my calzone from a safe distance.

After spending some time blocking up the entrance to Ben & Jerry's
ice-cream parlour we walked to the Beestenmarkt. Inside the Stapperij
the conversation moved to physical exercise: the fun of paintball, live
roleplaying, Laserquest and bungy jumping. It was pointed out that you
shouldn't blaspheme while doing the latter. It's counter-productive, you
should shout praises instead. (I wonder what that would sound like. "Oh
deity, creator of soft and squidgy places to land and really, *really*
strong cord.")

Jeremy's new bow and arrow was soon put to creative uses. People were
wearing the arrows on their foreheads and the bow was used as a fishing
rod. Inevitably, the problem of how to get arrows down from the ceiling
had to be solved. Michel tried to fence them down without success.

The theme of weapons continued throughout the evening. Gabe waved his
supersoaker in Leo's direction, who threatened to take his L-Space
address away. Opportunistic lspace.org-less supersoaker owners all
politely asked Leo if they could have an address while being very firm
that they were definitely not pointing anything at him.

Like all good things the pub came to a close and sent us outside in
search of another bar.

It was too dark to be able to see who fired the first shot. A running
supersoaker battle was held on the cobbled streets of Delft. As an
unarmed war correspondent I tried to hide behind conveniently lengthy
people like Jeroen B. Alas, my shields kept running away. Minor
collateral damage occurred.

By the end of the skirmish the more inferior supersoakers were spurting
weakly and others were shooting blanks. It was time to enter the bar to
reload. The bar was the Locus Publicus again so the weapons were hung
back in various trousers.

Michel removed his shirt. People said "aargh". The cat was there but
Penny's mice played anyway. When Locus Publicus closed too, everyone
scattered to their beds.

The meet ended for me at 5am when Gabe and Jos gently geeked me to
sleep.


THE QUOTES

(Jeremy's appalling puns are absent because The Society for Prevention
of Cruelty to Keyboards (SPoCK) prohibits me from using them.)

"We might have big ones but Kimberley's got balls." - Leo

"If you're sitting around a table, you can't be a bookend." - Patrick

"Do you have any advice on the larger calibers?" - Gabe
"Duck" - Jeremy
"No. Pigeon." - Jos

"Colm had to drop hints, then large hints." - Jos
"Then bricks." - Patrick

"Overload. Must store information. Beep. Beep." - Leo

"When I realised that the Netherlands are not quite the same size as
Canada." - Gabe

"Geek! Geek! Geek!" Eelco, Gabe and Jeremy.

"Josterday." - Gabe

"Ziggy-zig-ah." - Leo

"You gotta get me a blonde virgin. *Please*." Jeremy with an arrow stuck
to his forehead.

"I said *blonde* virgin, not blind." - Jeremy

"My pizza is a good pizza and more interesting than cricket." - Gabe

-- 
Kimberley Verburg     sierra@dataweb.nl
"...I didn't mind Kimberly..." - Johnny
"Hah! I now realise that was a name with "trainee hairdresser" written
all over it." - Kirsty^W Kasandra

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