Natural History Museum Meet: Report

From: *barnes@globalnet.co.uk (Maurice Barnes)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.pratchett
Subject: [F] Natural History Museum - Meet Report
Date: Sun, 07 Jun 1998 20:14:23 GMT
Message-ID: <6lesbg$uid$2@library.lspace.org>

On a muggy Saturday lunchtime on the steps of the NHM in London, an
intrepid band of afp'ers gathered.  In time people appeared who, if
not imediately recognising the froup were soon caught in the filter
system set up at the museum entrance to strain them from the
induhviduals.

Cigerettes were lit to hasten the arrival of latecomers, to no avail,
we decided to enter and page them if they turned up later.

The museum itself is BIG and so we made our way to the primary reason
for our visit, the Myths and Monster Exhibition.  Everyone loved the
animatronic dragon, which would make an excellent centrepiece at the
Con (are you listening<g>), there was also a unicorn, cyclops, chimera
and a close relation who you wouldn't wish to meet in a darkened
reference section.  Also displayed were the Death of Snakes ("Where
does it hold the scythe?"-Lot) a fillited Ribbonfish, one of those big
lizard things from Madagascar, or is it New Guinea?  and several other
descriptions of beasts of yore.   A strategically placed shop at the
end of the exhibition yielded the meet mascot, Nessie, of which
several were purchased.  Unfortunately no-one could remember the names
of the Family Ness.

After a brief wander round the bookshop the party split into those
areas they found interesting and diverting, there is so much to take
in at one visit, I think most people had tired feet by the end of the
afternoon.  Further peoples arrived during the course of the afternoon
and were happened upon and given shelter and food, well jellybeans.

I think most people experienced the earthquake, although nobody
mention if the earth moved for them <groan>.

After a good 5 hours exploring and playing with the interactive
exhibits (which some group members took as a trial of strength) we
retired to the excellent Southside Bar, just up the road and part of
Imperial College (thank-you for suggesting it David).  It was on the
grass of a small park infront of the bar that quality alcohol was
consumed, Thomas was chased and assaulted and a tree was climbed
frequently and in some cases, with a certain grace.  Also afp members
came to the rescue of a stricken pigeon (dark pied hen) which had its
feet caught in black thread.  This was skillfully removed by the
steady had of Janice who we all expect to go to the Con as Doughnut
Jimmy, or at least get a part on Afpnimal Rescue<g>.  Both Carol and
Warwick brought a selection of chocolate coated, I can only call them
"items"  several of which were eaten.  - I still have garlic breath,
thank-you Carol - .

Here are the written notes from the NHM Meet.

Chocolate coated

(by) Warwick

fried egg
mushroom
black pudding
beef grill
a tap (P/achtually an inline valve or stopcock/p)
raw egg (unshelled)  [1]
Calamari
CD Rom (Computer Shopper)
Bacon
Sausages

(by) Carol

Tap
Cheery
Stuffed Ollive
Duck (rubber)
Prawn
Coffee Beans
AFP Recipes (3 1/2 Inch Disk)
Clementine
Lemon Tea (for those sick of cccb's)
Garlic Cloves
Monkey Nut (ouch)
Orange segments

The ubiquitous Quotes

<Lot>The Official Meet Cuddly Toy, It's got to be done!  

<Thomas>You don't need to zip it. It's not that big. 

<Warwick>We want to know if Joanna is available to perform in
September.

<Gid>That's not a floppy, that's a stiffy.

<Tap>I knew Suzi was jailbait, I didn't know you were.

<Gid>The last sixteen years have been illegal.

<Suzi>I'm now looking for bookings for the 8th August.

<Maurice>It would be more hygenic if I slept in a tent.

<Hampster>Whips and Chains? 
<Carol>No he's a software engineer.

<Maurice>Have you got a hosepipe?

<Barry>Do you need another pair of hands to carry them.

<Carol>I think you scared him off.

<Carol>Only AFP could geek about strimmers.

<Gid>You're trying to screw it the wrong way.

<Maurice>Is it still attached to the shaft?

<Carol>You're supposed to show some cleavage

<Darren>Is your wrist getting tired?

<Maurice>Do you want to share a 12 inch?
<Lot>Does it come with a side salad?
<Lot>Oooh, thousand island dressing.

<Thomas-running away>Gods I hate this!

<Janice>He really does a good Rincewind.

<No one owned up>Just suck on it!

<Janice>It's down the bottom somewhere. <Suzi> I know. I'm having a
good rummage.

<Vicci>Be a horsey!

<Lottie>Maurice has fed a pigeon some chili.

(No wonder I caught)

<Warwick>Has anyone got a knife. I just want to seperate its legs.

<Carol>Darren, What are you doing to my daughter?

<Thomas>Here take my trousers.

<Vicci to Darren>Could you not ask me to stop. Pleeease?

<Darren>As long as it's legs are open, It doesn't really matter.

<Barry>I've got a couple.

<Maurice - hanging from tree> Well?  Take the picture then!

<Lottie>I've never had enough

<Tap>Oh. I enjoyed that. Next time would you mind not putting your bum
in my face?

<Dale>There are maniacs from every direction.
<Vicci> It's AFP!

<Tap>Carol, I hope that was your hand!

<Tap>Suzi, I've found out what that vibration was at 80 mph on the M1.

<Maurice>If I can get it down.

<Tap>We've gotta get off.

<Suzi>It seems to have stuck.

<Gid>Have you ever fingered a coke machine?

<Barry to Janice>Half or Pint? 
<Janice> Yes.

Attendees: Tap, Carol, Dale, Vicci, Gid, Suzi, Maurice, Lot(Relief
stealer of hats), Warwick, Joanna, Mark, Kayla+S.O.&offspring, Thomas,
Darren, Janice, Barry, & Hannah (who left early).

Feel free to add, subtract, or alter at your leisure.

Barry R. B.F.  The Official Sad Bastard

Edited and added to by:-
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Maurice Barnes - barnes@globalnet.co.uk - Keeper of the Greens.
Procurer of The Forbidden Fruit to T*mpl*s of Distinction.
By Appointment to the Gid Holyoake Harem.
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