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From: Ben Hutchings <womble@zzumbouk.demon.co.uk>
Newsgroups: alt.fan.pratchett
Subject: [F] Cambridge Finalsmoot quote-file
Date: 26 Aug 1999 01:58:37 GMT
Message-ID: <7q270d$19t$1@zzumbouk.demon.co.uk>
In the absence of a proper meet report for Cambridge Finalsmoot
(18-20 June), I thought I might as well at least post the quotes.
So, here they are.
Friday
======
In town
-------
Melusine: It always hurts, but especially the first time.
Peter: It is now obligatory for us to worship Mel.
ccooke: I would, but I'd cover you in mucus.
Sharon (non-afper) on waxing Gid's beard: If you like getting your
hair ripped out by the roots.
Peter: How do you wax virginity?
At the Ancient Druids
---------------------
Peter: Phantom does the best Cartman voice. Imagine a cross between
Cartman and the Energiser Bunny.
Suzi: It feels like it leaves sticky stuff on your hands, but it doesn't.
Supermouse: Ew, it's crusty!
Ali: I didn't want to know that actually.
Supermouse: You're not the one who has to feel it. (pause) I think
it's time to fumigate my hands.
Ali: We could do it with a couple of volunteers and a stretcher.
(Flashdance plays on the jukebox, courtesy of Suzi)
AfPhantom: You've got to do the dance, Suzi
Thomas: With full welding gear.
(That might actuaully have been 'wedding', but accuracy is not really
the point here.)
Ali: When i try to bend it, it just rolls.
AfPhantom: It stops the sideways flop i get when i don't wear it.
AfPhantom: Actually my purity score is 17%.
(This was on the 100-question test.)
ccooke (to Jules): You know the way down best.
Jules (to ccooke): I don't want to be your bottom.
AfPhantom (sings): Round and round and up again... No I don't want to
speculate.
Saturday
========
In and near Market Square
-------------------------
AfPhantom: I was covered in chocolate and hundreds-and-thousands and
in a shop window.
AfPhantom: We have a flourishing geekosystem here.
Melusine: You do know my official job is, indeed, sub?
At the Granta
-------------
Megamole impersonated Cartman having phonesex, causing Ali to giggle
and shake uncontrollably.
Peter: Stop, you're killing Ali!
Melusine (et al): Oh my god, they killed Ali! You bastards!
Melusine: For a fee I'll do it in private for you, Peter.
Miq: Alex is Peter's illegitimate lovechild?
Peter: And Colm is the mother.
Megamole: Will anyone look in my wallet and see what they find inside?
On and beside the river
-----------------------
Ali: We're looking for a small one here.
Ali (to Peter): Are we going all the way?
Peter: Oh oh! Yielding bottom again.
Supermouse: How many species will I be able to pick out of my lap?
Peter: Do you want to swap sides so I get the wet patch?
Supermouse: Ooh, that's disgusting! Spit!
Nattie: This isn't as see-through as I thought.
Brett: It's just water dripping off his length.
Brett (to Olivia): Your whats-it's more than strokable?
Nattie: It doesn't ever last that long with me.
Barry: I have no bum to speak of.
Going back to Peter's room at Emmanuel
--------------------------------------
Olivia: I'm like a rose bush among oak trees.
Peter: Show us your prickles then.
Peter: You're staining my floor!
Phantom: You have a large intestine in the middle of your sentence.
The Ancient Druids again
------------------------
(Barry attempts to hug LNR)
LNR: i'm taken
Stephanie (LNR's sister, non-afper): Frequently, I hope.
Ailbhe: Rob, apparently I'm a lap-dancer. Wanna pimp for me?
At my house
-----------
Nattie: What am I sitting on, then?
Sunday
======
At my house
-----------
Olivia: Don't do that when I'm about to swallow.
ccooke: Thank god for dual sinus passages.
In Dôme
--------
Ailbhe: They've gone much further than that.
(about the asterisks in `*vom*')
Olivia: It's `vom' with attitude.
Peter: That sounds like a very bad band.
Olivia: I was on the train, nearly going to the wrong place with Barry
.... no, he just took me on the wrong train.
Ailbhe: `Is that why mummy has a 17 inch purple dildo?'
Ailbhe: I needed one to hold in my hand, and it worked.
Olivia: I think I almost swallowed my kneecap at some point this morning.
Emmanuel college again (ccooke, Peter, Nattie and I)
----------------------
ccooke: Are the two of you conspiring to buy Nattie?
Peter (to Nattie): That's perfectly decent - it's just suggestive.
--
Ben Hutchings - womble@zzumbouk.demon.co.uk, http://www.zzumbouk.demon.co.uk
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