From: Peter Ellis
Newsgroups: alt.fan.pratchett
Subject: Re: [F] [I] Filk again...
Date: Sun, 1 Nov 1998 16:09:33 -0000
pandinac wrote...
>
>G filk time again, is it? Okay...
>
>*ahem*
>
>He is the very model of a modern English humourist
>
..... etc.
Damn! Now you've inspired me, and I had to spend *hours* bashing this one out...
*RINCEWIND:*
I am the very model of the coward fleeing gainfully
I spend my lifetime quivering in fear of dying painfully
I live in dread of criminals, and when I meet a mugger, he
Soon sees my fleeing back as I commence to run like buggery
I'm very well acquainted with an anthropoid Librarian,
As wizards go I have to say he's certainly a hairy 'un
In poly-fractal L-space I'm an island of normality,
[fx: searches for a rhyme for "normality"]
And never dare to tamper with the nature of Causality...
*OMNES:*
And never dare to tamper... etc.
*RINCEWIND:*
I'm very good at fleeing from humongous beasts with tentacles,
I break out in a rash when I see necromantic pentacles,
In short, when I am quivering in fear of dying painfully,
I am the very model of the coward fleeing gainfully
*OMNES:*
In short, when he is quivering in fear of dying painfully,
He is the very model of the coward fleeing gainfully
*RINCEWIND:*
I've stood up Death and left him standing all alone and grumbling,
While coping with a tourist who was short, naive and bumbling,
I've stood on rock-hard bill before creation of the Universe,
And sat among the houris while the Seriph spouted looney-verse.
I made the great Red Army march with sound of smashing pottery
(Some say that I was aided by the One who loves a lottery)
I've granted wishes three to zitty teenage demonologists...
[fx: searches for a rhyme for "ologists"...]
And wrestled with a beast that would confuse all known biologists!
*OMNES:*
And wrestled with a beast... etc.
*RINCEWIND:*
Then I can flee so fast I leave my sandals on the ground behind
(The only bit of me pursuing beasts are ever bound to find)
In short, when I am quivering in fear of dying painfully,
I am the very model of the coward fleeing gainfully
*OMNES:*
In short, when he is quivering in fear of dying painfully,
He is the very model of the coward fleeing gainfully
*RINCEWIND:*
In fact, when I know what is meant by "lassitude" and "sleepiness",
When I can live in somnolence without a shred of creepiness,
When I'm no longer dangling from a very steep locality,
And when I know precisely what is meant by "sweet banality",
When I am left alone in peace in some secluded area
When I'm no longer chased by monsters like King Kong, but hairier,
When I am in a quiet little tavern getting beerier
[fx: tries to find a rhyme for "beerier"]
You'll say this fearful wizzard could not possibly be cheerier!
* OMNES:*
You'll say this fearful wizzard... etc.
*RINCEWIND:*
For though my Luggage follows me with homicidal loyalty,
And such devoted homage as a cretin pays to Royalty,
Yet still, when I am quivering in fear of dying painfully,
I am the very model of the coward fleeing gainfully
*OMNES:*
Yet still, when he is quivering in fear of dying painfully,
He is the very model of the coward fleeing gainfully.
Hi thank you
Peter
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