From: Jon
Newsgroups: alt.fan.pratchett
Subject: [I] Filk - Seamstress' House of Pleasure
Date: Fri, 2 May 2003 14:33:00 +0100
While filking the Stones' /Angie/ before, it for some reason gave me an earworm of another song entirely. And, when you've got an earworm, there's only one thing to do.
*Seamstress' House of Pleasure* (TTTO /Hotel California/, The Eagles)
(nifty guitar intro)
(bomp! bomp!)In a dank city byway
Foul wind made it stink
I met a fatty policeman
Who said 'You've had too much to drink'
Up ahead in the distance
I saw the door to the Drum
My legs grew wobbly and my eyes grew dim
I fell down on my bum
There she stood in the doorway
I heard the ring of the till
I remember thinking to myself
"I wish that I'd took all of my pills"
Then she lit up a candle
And she showed me the way
There were voices in the corridor
I thought I heard them say"Welcome to the Seamstress' House of Pleasure
Such a lovely place (such a lovely place)
The drains are a disgrace
There's plenty of room in the Seamstress' House of Pleasure
Any time of year (any time of year)
Though you may find it dear"She got a revealing costume
I think I'd got the bends
She said, "For a small sum in dollars
I think we could be friends"
How we romped in her bedroom
Rank smelt the sweat
I think what we did was illegal
Though perhaps I forget
So I called up to Rosie
"Please bring me some wine"
She said
"That'll surely cost you love - another nineteen-ninety-nine"
And still those voices are calling across the way
Shouting out in the middle of the night
I could hear them say"Welcome to the Seamstress' House of Pleasure
Such a lovely place (such a lovely place)
The drains are a disgrace
They're living it up in the Seamstress' House of Pleasure
Though it's no surprise (though it's no surprise)
They've all got alibis"Mirrors on the ceiling
Pink drinks tasting bad
I got the distinct feeling
That I'd just been had
And in the Mistress' chamber
They're counting up the loot
Anyone hasn't got any
Gets a poke in the snoot
Next thing I remember
I'm thrown out of the door
Dotsie hit me in the head
Sadie kicked me to the floor
"Oh, dear," said the Aunties
"Don't try to run away -
You can get out any time you like
But you must always pay!"(very nifty guitar break)
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