Vampire Otto

From: Rich Mielke
Newsgroups: alt.fan.pratchett
Subject: [I] Filk: The Truth
Date: Sat, 02 Dec 2000 15:16:32 GMT

Just an irregular regular poster checking in. I've read over as many FAQs as I could find, and did not discover any sort of minimum time that had to pass before a person could write a filk on a new book. Hopefully the spoiler space is in order, so without further ado:

<spoiler space for those who haven't read The Truth, and who don't want to have this filk in their heads when they do>

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"Vampire Otto", sung by William de Worde
To the tune of "Galileo", as recorded by the Indigo Girls

Vampire Otto's dust is on the floor
From helping The Times find the truth.
And as the lizards for iconographs go off,
I find some friends in bums uncouth

Pin and Tulip -ing suffer reincarnation
After visiting the Biers the other night.
And now I must decide if pota-
toes should be swimming unbaked, or just fried.

How long a story must I write?
Can any human, troll, or dwarf work straight through the night?
I hired the endless soul of Vampire Otto,
King of Black Ribbons, prints of dark light

And then I interview my leads and sources
How on Disc could I explain?
If word got out that Deep Bone is a talking dog,
They'd all think that I am insane.

How long a story must I write?
Can any human, troll, or dwarf work straight through the night?
Rely on the endless soul of Vampire Otto
King of Black Ribbons, prints of dark light

I'm not taking a break, you know me,
I take press-feeding so seriously.
If we wait 'til old Vimes finally gets it right
Then at least I know there'd be a leather-worker as Patrician
In the headlines, and so I write.

I said "no thanks" to those who want me
To censor what I say.
'Cause maybe I turned down big bucks from my bloodline;
Now Dad has to pay.

But now and then I feel like I need a small vacation.
I'll put new writers on the beat.
And we'll use the clacks to report overseas famine and strife.
Send Ron out on the street.

How long a story must I write?
Can any human, troll, or dwarf work straight through the night?
Except for Vampire Otto, and his darkroom hole
King of Black Ribbons, prints of dark light

How long? (a story must I write)
How long? (a story must I write)
How long?

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