If we won the Lotto

From: Joy Green
Newsgroups: alt.fan.pratchett
Subject: [I] Filk -- If we won the lotto
Date: Sun, 20 Aug 2000 02:31:33 +1200

Thoughts that ran through my head as I bought this week's lottery ticket....

If We Won The Lotto
TTTO If I Were A Rich Man

If we won the Lotto
Daidle, deedle daidle
Digguh digguh deedle daidle dum
I would tell the boss where he could go,
If we won ten million bucks
We wouldn't have to work then
Daidle deedle daidle
Digguh digguh deedle daidle dum
If we were obscenely stinking rich
And all it takes -- a little bit of luck

No more on Sundays haunting DIY stores,
We'd get a proper tradesman in
And someone every day just to cook and clean
We'd buy our food from Fortnums, in bloody great hampers
We'd give up the budget brands and tins
And the Ritz would keep a table for the Greens

I'd fill my shelves with hardback books bound in leather
My cellar with proper vintage wine
I'd buy the geek toys to which my sad soul aspires
And jewellery and clothes and pictures and cars
That I coveted would instantly be mine
I'd have every little thing my heart desires

If we won the Lotto, etc.

I'd buy my girl, my Megan, the things she cannot have now
Then maybe even she would smile
I'd educate her at all of the finest schools
I see her winning prizes and making lots of good friends
Happy and laughing all the while
Instead of sulking round and flouting rules.

The most important folk around will come to fawn on me
They will ask me to contribute to all their little schemes
"If you please, could you give us ... Pardon me, would you help us
..."
But instead I'd grant some dreamer's crazy dreams.
(chants)
And it won't make one bit of difference if they grovel beg or scrape
When you're rich you can help who *you* want.

If we were rich I'd have the time that I lack to talk with my family
and play
Lazing in the sun by the garden wall
And we'd travel the whole world seeing all our dear friends
No matter just how far away
And this would be the sweetest thing of all ...
(sigh)

If we won the Lotto
Daidle deedle daidle
Digguh digguh deedle daidle dum
Every day I'd biddy biddy bum
If we won ten million bucks
Wouldn't have dream then
Daidle deedle daidle
Digguh deedle daidle dum.....

I've worked hard, I'm sure you would agree
I'd really love to give to charity
Someone wins, I simply cannot see
Why this week it can't be ME!

Joy

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