Reaper Man

"What is this thing, anyway?" said the Dean, inspecting the implement in his hands. "It's called a shovel," said the Senior Wrangler. "I've seen the gardeners use them. You stick the sharp end in the ground. Then it gets a bit technical."

-- (Terry Pratchett, Reaper Man)

No one was avoiding him, it was just that an apparent random Brownian motion was gently moving everyone away.

-- (Terry Pratchett, Reaper Man)

"Dock-a-loodle-fod!"

-- Dyslexic roosters are a sad sight (Terry Pratchett, Reaper Man)

People have believed for hundreds of years that newts in a well mean that the water's fresh and drinkable, and in all that time never asked themselves whether the newts got out to go to the lavatory.

-- (Terry Pratchett, Reaper Man)

He'd never realized that, deep down inside, what he really wanted to do was make things go splat.

-- (Terry Pratchett, Reaper Man)

DROP THE SCYTHE, AND TURN AROUND SLOWLY.

-- Dirty Death (Terry Pratchett, Reaper Man)

Five exclamation marks, the sure sign of an insane mind.

-- (Terry Pratchett, Reaper Man)

It is traditional, when loading wire trolleys, to put the most fragile items at the bottom.

-- (Terry Pratchett, Reaper Man)

No matter how fast light travels it finds the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it.

-- (Terry Pratchett, Reaper Man)

I EXPECT, he said, THAT YOU COULD MURDER A PIECE OF CHEESE?

-- Death talks to the Death of Rats (Terry Pratchett, Reaper Man)

On the fabled hidden continent of Xxxx, somewhere near the rim, there is a lost colony of wizards who wear corks around their pointy hats and live on nothing but prawns.

-- (Terry Pratchett, Reaper Man)

"Bonsai!"

-- (Terry Pratchett, Reaper Man)

"Chap with a whip got as far as the big sharp spikes last week," said the low priest.

-- Life in the Temple of Offler (Terry Pratchett, Reaper Man)

"You know," said Windle, "it's a wonderful afterlife."

-- (Terry Pratchett, Reaper Man)

WHAT CAN THE HARVEST HOPE FOR, IF NOT FOR THE CARE OF THE REAPER MAN?

-- Death appeals to Azrael (Terry Pratchett, Reaper Man)

- "Have you any last words?"
- YES. I DON'T WANT TO GO.
- "Well. Succinct, anyway."

-- Death at the other end of the scythe, for once (Terry Pratchett, Reaper Man)

Mrs Evadne Cake was a medium, verging on small.

-- (Terry Pratchett, Reaper Man)